Standing Alone

Now we’re talking…Dinner for one please.  I have decided on this hump day, Mother Nature still not cooperating and my roommates all out of town or working very late, I should prepare a nice dinner for myself.  Well, nice in the sense that my meal would consist of my favorite bottle of wine ( It’s called Crios, it’s an amazing South American wine that usually retails for about $16, for those of you wondering) and a can of Campbell’s Select Italian Sausage and Pasta Soup.  Glamorous I know! Emerald has got nothing on me! And trust me I do see the issue behind buying a $16 bottle of wine and a $3.50 can of soup for dinner.

Sometimes we need little things like the players in my dinner theatre tonight to make our day (playing the lead role, Vino).  I will admit that over the past few days, I have been in what I would call a rut.  I’m not real sure why, I just know that I haven’t been myself.  I haven’t sprung out of bed, and sped through my day with the same tenacity that I usually like to leave as my calling card.  I don’t think there is a person, place, or object to blame, just something I the air maybe?  (God knows it could be the frigid temps and even colder stairs from people on the streets that are just as sick of winter as I am)

Last night I did manage to escape the cold for a brief hour or so.  I was under the lights as they say…Center stage for all those to see.  It was prefaced by “good luck, break a leg, good luck” from the others around me.  It was for the first time I had really gone on a stage of any type to perform and to perform with others.  I have spoken to crowds, some in the 1000s, with little angst.  That’s just talking, speaking, and being me…me. I can do that in front of a million people.  But tonight was different, it was in front maybe 20 strangers and I was part of an ensemble.  I was a piece of the comedic puzzle I was only praying the audience would find worthy of putting together.  

After a brief warm up, and few more “break a leg” comments and me thinking “do they really say that?” it was show time.  Most of my class members are actors/waiters, actresses/make up counter-salespersons, so they are much more familiar with the grounds of tonight’s performance.  The lights went up, and there we were, a group, all up there for the same reason.  

I fucking killed!  I loved it! I just wish it would not have gone by so fast.  It lasted for over an hour, but only a few minutes had gone by in my mind.  The crowd started in the dark and all too quiet, but grew brighter and much more involved as the show went on…

The final scene came to an end, my name was called to come back on stage and take a bow…I had never bowed before, you don’t bow after a killer presentation to the client, you don’t bow after making a great catch in flag football game, you just don’t.  That, even considering all the crazy request that came from the audience, might have been the most difficult part of the show for me.  Well, that and after it was all over I realized that no one I invited had shown up.  Granted I sent something out the day of, only because I received the info late myself, but I will admit it hurt.  Not a lot, but a bit.  Just one person I know would have made my night.  One, “you were amazing” from a familiar face instead of the compliments from friends of fellow cast members.  

I don’t now if I will go back for the next level of class.  I was thinking of taking a writing class instead…A decision I have to make in the next couple of weeks as spring sessions start soon…

Thanks for listening